We have been talking more lately. I'm not complaining. but at the same time I'm not rejoicing. Don't get me wrong, I love talking to you. You make me laugh. You make me smile like no one else does. But that's the problem.
Lately I have found myself strangely going out of my way to talk to you. I don't understand why I am doing this to myself. I just can't help it. When I talk to you it brings back memories. And not the bad ones. The good ones. The ones of us sitting on your couch or talking on the phone late at night and having the most random and funny conversations ever. Us attempting to be mean to the the other but then burst out in laughter because we cannot pretend. Telling each other every minor detail of our day. The good and the bad. The boring and the exciting. The smiles. The laughs. The joys.
I miss them. And talking to you slightly brings them back. But it's not helping me. I feel myself being pulled in again. I don't mean to. but it's happening. I'm beginning to miss the past so much more. I want to let it go. I have overcome the mistakes and the regrets...but for some reason I cannot seem to let go of those memories.
You may be wondering what the main problem is. For I haven't made it completely clear yet. The problem is...I think I still love you. but I don't want to.
xoxo...pooksters
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