Sunday, March 22, 2009

pineapple pleasure.[to him#5]



today brought back a whirlwind of memories and emotions.
I felt so happy and comfortable, yet confused and awkward.
there's just something about you that holds on to me. I'm so sick of being caught under this "spell". I want to just let go and be free. I tell myself that I'm going to just move on but then you do something or say something that just pulls me right back in.
today while I was with you, a song came on. A song that I heard and became obsessed with a little over a year ago. When you & I decided that we were done listening to other people and were going to fight our way through. that we were going to work through anything and everything.
"what do you say to taking chances? what do you say to jumpin off the edge? never knowin if there's solid ground below or a hand to hold or hell to pay. what do you say" remember that song? I bet you do. I do too. I laughed to myself when that song came on as I remembered every single promise and challenge. and then look at us now. I never would have expected this.

I took a chance. Obviously it didnt turn out the way that I planned. Sometimes I feel as if my heart is still in it, still going for it. but it's only fooling itself. I need to just stop and let go. Why am I having such a hard time doing that?
xoxo...your secret.

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