venice bliss.

Here I sit trying to understand why this bothers me so much. trying to figure out why these things are going through my mind, and why they wont leave.
I found myself placed in such a complicated mood last night. I wanted to be happy, have fun, enjoy myself. But I felt hurt, troubled, remembering occurences this time last year. I tried to keep my mind off of it, off of him, off of them. My eyes would keep wandering that way though. I felt as if everywhere I turned it was right in front of me.
I'm glad he's not affected by any of this. I'm glad he can just let it fall of his back. I'm glad he can pretend like nothing ever happened. I don't exactly work like that though. It's still a struggle for me....still. It has to go away soon. At least I'm hoping it does...
xoxo...what should be

thought::i miss him, but i dont want to.
dream::that this is only a nightmare.
hope::I will be able to get over all of this mess soon.
inspiration::prom night.