freedom is so sweet.

i can be so stupid, so immature sometimes.
as some people know, ive been in a struggle for a long while.
i have written so many letters titled "to him". but why were there so many?
why can i not let go? how do i keep finding myself pulled back into this trap?
he has damaged my confidence. he has torn apart my self esteem. he has caused me more hurt and pain than any other person ever has. so WHY would i still feel attached? WHY would i not be completely 100% over this?
the past month i have been trying to figure out why. why has it not passed? why has it not gone away? why have i not yet overcome this trial?
the answer is so obvious, so simple.

Psalm 55:22:
"cast your cares on the Lord
and He will sustain you;
He will never let the righteous fall"
1 Peter 5:6-7:
"humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand,
that He may lift you up in due time.
cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you"

I have been so hurt, so troubled for far too long.
and the worst part is that its ALL MY FAULT.
how can i have been so stupid?
I have been holding on to this for so long, when all ive had to do was give it over to Him. He can take it away. He will take care of me.
I have been so stubborn, thinking i could overcome this whole thing myself...and i cant. the reason that i havent fully recovered? because i havent handed it all over to Him.

its time to let go. its time to give God my everything.
i am still growing, still learning. i am stripping away what used to be me. for i am nothing, can do nothing, without Him.
the struggle is over. i am free.
and it feels so good.

my Father,
thank You.
xoxo...Your daughter.

thought::ive been waiting for this peace.
dream::come true.
hope::my hope is in Him.
inspiration::the past yr & a half of my life.